Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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