I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So vagazzling was a success
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
