Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
