I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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