So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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