You really coming over, don't trick.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
