remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm bleeding and have questions
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
