Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
