Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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