My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
