i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
