I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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