I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
