i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
