Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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