how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
