My brain says no but my pants say off.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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