I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
