return my video game
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
