You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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