I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
