Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
