I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
