It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
