we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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