so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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