90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's always time for handjobs
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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