Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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