The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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