Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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