Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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