Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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