But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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