We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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