I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
