i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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