So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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