Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Houston, we have a squirter
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
