I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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