I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
