my mouth tastes like poor choices
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
