"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
