Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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