Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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