I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
