before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
