can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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