He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
