I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
