stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There's always time for handjobs
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
