Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
